of Direct Mail Order Products.
was Colonel Sanders a typical male?
you have a suitable favourite joke
Please ... ONLY Original Jokes
NO copyright material !
Jokes 1 || 2 || 3 || 4 || 5 || 6 || 7 || 8 || 9 || 10
|One day Bill complained to his
friend, "My elbow really hurts, I guess I should see a
His friend said, "Don't do that,
there's a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker
an cheaper than a doctor."
Bill figured he had nothing to lose, so he
filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store, found the
computer, and poured in the sample then deposited his $10.
brief pause, out popped a small slip of paper on which was printed:
Late that evening while thinking how
amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science
forever, he began to wonder if this machine could be fooled.
To top it off, he masturbated into the concoction, he went back to the drug store, located the machine, poured in the sample and deposited the $10.
A cucumber and a pickle are having a
conversation and the pickle says to the cucumber,
So the cucumber says," yeah, you think that's bad, whenever I get big, fat and juicy they slice me up and they put me over salad."
So the penis over hears their conversation and says, " you think that your life is tough??
Whenever I get big, fat and juicy, they put a plastic bag over my head, stick me in a dark smelly hole and make me do push ups until I throw up!!!"
A man is about to have sex with a really fat woman so he climbs on top of her and says "can I turn the light off ?"
"Why .. are you feeling kinky ?" she replies
"No, it's burning my arse!"
One day this rich guy was having a party at his house, he's loaded, he had everything; money, a big house (in Beverley Hills) drugs, girls, cars, planes; anything he wanted.
The guy was also a little eccentric, and he
had filled his pool with crocodiles.
The guy gets up on the life guard tower and
all his friends look up.
"OK, the first person the swims across
my pool gets all my money, my house and all my cars and the
"OK then, all my money, my house, all
my cars, all my planes, all the dope you can handle, all my property,
all my stocks and bonds,
"Splash!" Someone's in the pool,
crocodiles are all over him, but he rolls over like Tarzan, he's all
over the place,
The rich guy on tower jumps down and runs
over to him.
Do you want the money now or later ? "I don't want the money."
"Do you want the house now or later ?" "I don't want the house."
"Do you want the cars and planes now or later ?" "I don't want the cars or the planes."
"Do you want the bonds, stocks and stuff now or later ?" "I don't want that either."
"Do you want the drugs now or later ?" "I don't want the drugs."
"Do you want the girls now or later ?" "I don't want the girls."
The rich guy looks at him and says, "Well what the hell do you want ?!?!"
"I want the bastard that pushed me in."
Son: "Dad, I have to do a special
report for school. Can I ask you a question ?"
Your mother is the
administrator of money, so we'll call her "Government."
Son: "I'm not really sure, Dad. I'll
have to think about it."
Father: "Good son! Can you explain it to me in your own words?"
Son: "Well Dad, while Capitalism is
screwing the Working Class,
There are three guys at a monastery getting
ready for the test to see who will become the new high priest,
Then afterwards when they are all in the shower, then ding a ling his bell rings.
After a few years of married life, this guy
finds that he is unable to perform anymore.
Finally the psychiatrist refers him to a
witch doctor. The witch doctor tells him, "I can cure this",
The witch doctor says "This is
powerful healing but you can only use it once a year!
The guy then asks the witch doctor
"What happens when it's over ?"
The guy goes home and that night he is ready to surprise his wife with the good news ....
So, he is lying in bed with her and says "123", and suddenly he gets an erection.
His wife turns over and says "What Did You Say '123' For?"
Why do men like love at first sight ?
It saves them a lot of time.
A woman of 35 thinks of having children.
What does a man of 35 think of ?
I've put together a small Quiz for you, relating to Australian Slang
Good luck, and have fun.
Australian Slang [Aussie Talk]
Australia Facts & Figures
Jokes 1 || 2 || 3 || 4 || 5 || 6 || 7 || 8 || 9 || 10
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